Let's be real—trying to follow up Baldur's Gate 3 is like attempting to bake a cake after someone just invented gravity. It’s that monumental. Larian Studios crafted characters so layered, they make ogre onions cry. Shadowheart’s divine mysteries? Chef’s kiss. Gale’s magical midlife crisis? Relatable. But let’s chat about the pale elephant in the room: Astarion. That sassy vampire rogue didn’t just steal scenes; he pickpocketed our collective hearts. Now, with Baldur’s Gate 4 simmering (sans Larian, sob), bringing him back isn’t just smart—it’s non-negotiable. Otherwise, we riot. 🔥

Neil Newbon’s Unfiltered Fang-tastic Take

Hold onto your garlic, folks—Neil Newbon (the legend behind Astarion’s voice) spilled the tea in a recent interview. When asked about reprising roles, he basically said, “Astarion? Hell yes. Discount knockoffs? Hard pass.” His exact words? "I'd love to play Astarion again, but I wouldn't necessarily enjoy playing an Astarion-like character." Translation: He’s done playing broody bloodsuckers unless it’s our favorite traumatized elf. And honestly? Mood. Why settle for store-brand when you can have artisanal angst?

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Here’s the kicker—Astarion’s fate dangles like a chandelier in a haunted mansion. Did he conquer his demons? Become a sunlight-challenged overlord? Get dusted? BG3 left it wide open. Newbon’s reluctance to be typecast means if we want his golden performance again, BG4 must resurrect our fanged disaster. Otherwise, it’s like ordering pizza without cheese. Just... why?

Plot Hooks Juicier Than a Neck Vein

Astarion isn’t just some pretty face with bite marks—he’s a narrative Swiss Army knife. Think about it: BG4 could leap centuries ahead (vampires don’t do wrinkles), and poof—he’s still lounging in gothic velvet, sipping wine like it’s 1399 DR. His sarcasm? Sharper than a +3 dagger. His character arc? From selfish survivor to... well, maybe slightly less selfish survivor. It’s growth, people!

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Imagine the possibilities:

  • Mentor Mode: Picture him as BG4’s Morrigan—snarky, cryptic, and low-key judging your life choices. "Darling, must you wear chainmail? It’s so last apocalypse."

  • Full Party Member: His unfinished business (cough, 7,000 spawn siblings cough) is a goldmine for quests. Plus, his commentary alone could power Faerûn’s economy.

  • Cameo King: Even a tiny appearance—say, running a shady nightclub called “The Coffin Corner”—would spark memes for eons.

His potential isn’t just big; it’s Tarrasque-sized. And with Larian out? We need familiar faces to cushion the blow. Like emotional support vampires.

The Verdict: No Astarion, No Party

Look, I get it—BG4 has big boots to fill. But cutting Astarion? That’s like baking bread without yeast. Flatter than a Flumph convention. Newbon’s onboard. Fans are frothing. The narrative threads are dangling like low-hanging mistletoe. All BG4’s devs gotta do is... y’know, not fang it up.

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So here we are, back where we started: BG3 set the bar stratospherically high, and Astarion’s return isn’t just fan service—it’s survival. Skip him, and BG4 risks feeling like a cover band at a metal festival. Include him? Instant standing ovation. 🧛♂️✨ Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be replaying Act 1 for the 47th time, waiting for that sweet, sweet vampire reunion...