Let's be real, after years of playing the goody-two-shoes hero, I finally decided to embrace the darkness in my latest Baldur's Gate 3 run. And let me tell you, diving into the heart of pure, unadulterated evil as a Lolth-sworn cleric has been a revelation. Forget your brooding Dark Urge or your calculating Shar worshippers. If you want to experience cruelty with a side of chaotic glee, the Queen of Spiders is your patron.

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Shar? Pfft. She's practically a philosopher with her cold, logical ambitions. Lolth, the Spider Queen, is on a whole other level. Her entire divine portfolio is built on chaos, suffering, and causing maximum anguish—just for the fun of it. Playing her devout servant means embracing that ethos in every conversation, and the dialogue options are chef's kiss levels of hilariously awful.

I mean, I thought I'd seen mean. But nothing prepared me for the casual brutality of the Lolth-sworn responses. One moment that lives rent-free in my head? The big, emotional reunion after saving Shadowheart's parents from Viconia. After years of Sharran torture, her mother, Emmeline, shares this beautiful, fragile moment about finally hearing birds sing again. It's touching! It's heartwarming!

My Lolth-sworn cleric's response? Suggest we should have left them to rot in their dungeon for daring to appreciate such "small things." The AUDACITY. The sheer, unflinching callousness. It's not even angry evil; it's dismissive, bored evil. And it's consistent. Every major story beat has an option to say the most cosmically terrible thing imaginable.

It's actually a challenge to find a Lolth-sworn dialogue choice that isn't cartoonishly wicked. Some of these lines make Minthara—our favorite pragmatic, power-hungry drow paladin—look like a candidate for sainthood.

Take the Emerald Grove, for instance. Talking to poor little Mattis, the tiefling kid, you get this gem of an option. You can casually inform him that drow kill far more children than they enslave, so he shouldn't worry about being taken as a slave. Just... wow. It's delivered with such chilling matter-of-factness.

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Here’s a quick breakdown of why Lolth-sworn evil hits different:

  • Motivation: Pure chaos. No grand scheme, just suffering for suffering's sake.

  • Delivery: Often bored, dismissive, or casually cruel. Not shouting, just stating awful facts.

  • Targets: Everyone. Children, reunited families, allies. No one is safe.

  • Comparison: Makes the Dark Urge look like they have impulse control issues and Minthara look reasonable.

Playing this character has been a wild ride. It's a completely different lens to view Faerûn through. You're not solving problems; you're actively looking for ways to make every situation worse, more painful, or more humiliating for everyone involved. The power dynamic is intoxicating in the most terrible way.

So, if you're like me and have exhausted all the "good" paths, or if you just want to see how deep the cruelty rabbit hole goes, roll a Lolth-sworn cleric (or even just a drow of that subrace). It's the definitive evil playthrough. Just... maybe don't do it if you're feeling particularly empathetic that day. Your companions' horrified reactions alone are worth the price of admission, but the emotional whiplash is real. The Spider Queen demands devotion, and she rewards it with the power to be the absolute worst person in the room—and love every second of it.